Open on Casper High.
Tucker	If elected, I promise to…Can I scan your vote? Digitize your yes for Tucker? (sighs) How can I run a campaign for student council president when nobody's listening to me?
Danny	What was that? Did you say something?
Tucker	Agh.
Sam	You're just going about this the wrong way Tucker.
Danny	Yeah your campaign is all about victory through technology and the triumph of machine over man. It's kinda creepy.
Sam	So we changed your lame official campaign platform.
Tucker	Grafitti art classes? Rage against the PTA meetings? Mini skirt Fridays? Okay. That's good.
Danny	Yeah. That was mine.
Tucker	But it's not what I told you to write. I wanna have my voice heard, not yours.
Danny	Okay. Okay. Your voice coming up.
Tucker	Thank you. Hi I'm Tucker. And what's it take to get listened to around here?!
Dash	Hey everybody. Gather round or the football team will pound ya. The theme of my campaign is who cares what Foley has to say.
Tucker	Danny, listen.
Danny	Not now. I'm busy writing in your voice. Would Tucker say it like that?
Tucker	But--
Sam	A little more nerd and a little less suave.
Danny	I'm going gho--
Sam	Wow. I never saw that coming.
Tucker	I did.
Danny	Well geez Tuck, why didn't you say something?
	Theme song.
Mr. Lancer	The treasures of the Pharoh Duul Aman which you see before you date back over four thousand years.
Tucker	Duul Aman? As in man is this dull?
Dash	Hey. Is that Duul Aman? As in man is this dull?
Danny	The way I see it, Tucker has to take the jock vote away from Dash.
Sam	Right. While not alienating his social misfit slash geek base.
Tucker	Here's an idea. How about you let me make my own decisions and listen to me when I talk to you? Oh come on. At least look at me.
Danny	We are.
Lancer	Behold. King Duul Aman.
Tucker	Now that is one snappy looking dude.
Danny	Wow. Tucker. You look like a king.
Lancer	The King's scarab scepter. The secrets of its dark magic are lost to the ages. The mummified remains of the pharoh's minion Hotep Ra. Ancient legend holds that he will hold when the pharoh's image reflects anew in his sacred mirror.
Kwan	Hey. Why don't you look in the mirror Foley. Either you'll get a minion, or another zit on your forehead.
Tucker	What zit? I don't see a--A mummy ghost?
Hotep Ra	I am risen!
Danny	And you're going down. Sam?
Sam	Danny?
Danny	Time for this mummy to cry uncle.
Tucker	Leave him alone.
Hotep Ra	Who dares order Hotep Ra to--(gasps) Your humble servant hears and obeys oh great one. Your dynasty begins a new o great one.
Tucker	I will have a minion who will hear and obey. Dude you toasted my minion.
Danny	Trust me. It's for your own good.
Sam	Guys. I like a good coffin as much as the next goth, but the novelty is wearing thin.
Tucker	(gasps) You can't spell Foley without F? Who came up with that?
Sam	Danny and me.
Danny	Yeah. (chuckles) It's your new election campaign. You like it?
Tucker	No! It's not the slogan I told you I wanted.
Sam	But it appeals to the idiot fringe. Do you want the jock vote or not?
Tucker	What I want is for you to listen to me. Can you do that?
Danny	Take it easy, Tuck. We're just trying to help.
Tucker	Great. Why don't you start by taking down those stupid posters.
Sam	Okay. Okay. Relax.
Tucker	You're late.
Hotep Ra	And I am sorry. But I told you they wouldn't listen to you my liege.
Tucker	Looks like you were right. They don't seem to get the listening concept. Grape me.
Hotep Ra	I assure you, you will have no such problem with me. My loyalty knows no bounds.
Tucker	Duly noted. Carry me.
Danny	There. They're down. Happy now your highness? Tucker?
Tucker	Better let me down here Ra. We don't want anyone to see you. See? I ask for something and it happens. Is that so hard?
Hotep Ra	Not for me my liege. But why hide it? What have you to fear? You are royalty.
Tucker	I am?
Hotep Ra	Yes. And with my help. All of this shall be your domain. This poorly funded educational center. Hazah!
Tucker	I'm not going to get to be master of this domain with those jerks covering my posters.
Hotep Ra	Shall I smite them for you?
Tucker	Maybe not smite. Locusts. Now that's old school. You're pretty mean with a plague. You know, a guy could get used to having a minion.
Hotep Ra	Do not get too used to it, my king. For very soon, you and everyone else will be my minions.
Tucker	What up, Ra?
Hotep Ra	Your rise to sovereignty. I bear a gift to help you achieve it.
Tucker	The scarab scepter? But that belongs to King Duul Aman.
Hotep Ra	To whom I humbly present it. Use it in good health, my Pharaoh.
Sam	Tucker. There you are.
Danny	We got your talking points for the debate.
Tucker	Keep them. I no longer require your meddling advice.
Sam	Hey, that's the scepter from the museum. How'd you get it?
Tucker	Why should I explain to you how I acquired what is rightfully mine?
Danny	Yours? Tucker, I-I don't like this. You have to listen to me.
Tucker	As you listened to me? Or you?
Danny	Tucker.
Tucker	Did you hear me? The scepter is mine. Now stand aside or face my wrath.
Mr. Lancer	First up with opening statements is Tucker Foley.
Tucker	Thank you mortal fool. At the museum the other day we saw a glimpse of the past. But now I wish to talk about the future. Hey I'm talking here. Listen.
Hotep Ra	Yes. Let the scepter take you.
Tucker	I. Said. Silence!
Mr. Lancer	Antony and Cleopatra!
Tucker	I'm tired of not being listened to. Of not being respected.
Sam	Um, I think that's your cue.
Danny	Give me that scepter now.
Tucker	No. It's mine. Let go.
Danny	Tucker.
Tucker	You're still not listening to me.
Danny	Tucker? Sam?
Tucker	And let that serve as a warning. To all of you.
Crowd	All hail pharaoh.
Tucker	From now on this is my world. And my word is law. I guess you'll listen to me now.
Sam	[walks up the steps to Tucker] Tucker, please, this is wrong. But the clothes are pretty rad.
Tucker	[points his sceptre at Sam] Stand down, Samantha.
Sam	[shocked] Samantha? [angrily points wags a finger at Tucker] Nobody calls me that! [two guards block her way] Except, you.
Hotep Ra	Guards. Put these drones to work on the Sphinx. Once finished, it will herald the dawning of your new dynasty.
Tucker	This pleases me.
Hotep Ra	Ah. Then you'll love what else we have for you. Even as we speak, two warriors battle for the honor of being presented before you.
Danny	I'll have to remember this if I ever do a report on the history of road rage.
Mr. Lancer	Myth of Sisyphus.
Dash	Doing manual labor for a geek we used to make fun of. This isn't supposed to happen until we're like, 30.
Kwan	Dude I don't think we'll even make it to thirty. We're doomed!
Sam	Trust me, I can tell you from experience we're nowhere near doomed. We just have to bide our time until we can figure a way out of this.
Tucker	Henceforth, all in the realm shall eat nothing but meat. And all citizens must wear red berets, including you hand maidens.
Star	He's clearly under a spell.
Paulina	I don't care if he's under some spell. He dies for this. Have you even heard of nail clippers?
Anubis	Any other edicts my king?
Tucker	Yes. Mini skirt Fridays. It's a good idea and its time has come.
Anubis	What shall I do about these ridiculous laws?
Hotep Ra	Oh implement them. Let the child have his moment of glory. Once the Sphinx is completed and I have the scepter, this realm shall be mine. It's almost finished my Pharaoh. A true monument to your glory. And behold. This masked champion has returned from the field of honor. Having vanquished the ghost boy in battle.
Sam	What? Ghost boy? Where is he? What did you do to him?
	Close-up on Sam's yelling face.
Sam	Let me go! Tucker! Tell them to let me go!
Tucker	Woman. You. Will. Be. Silent!
Sam	No you di-- (Tucker covers her mouth with bandages.)
Tucker	Congratulations warrior, on defeating your ghostly opponent. How did you accomplish that?
Danny	I just had the advantage of surprise. Like I do now!
Tucker	Where am I? What have I done? And why is everyone wearing a red beret except you?
Danny	Long story, and it's not over yet.
Hotep Ra	He has the scepter. Seize him!
Mr. Lancer	I've done it. Victory is mine!
Danny	Oh great. That thing's as hard headed as Tucker was.
Hotep Ra	Don't let him get away.
Tucker	Danny! Help!
Hotep Ra	I guess I'll have to take care of the Pharaoh myself.
Tucker	Somebody help me!
	Hotep Ra laughs as he flies away, but untangles.
Tucker	Ha!
Hotep Ra	I am risen!
Tucker	Do you say that every time you wake up?
Hotep Ra	Sphinx. Finish this.
Danny	Uh oh.
Paulina	Ghost boy. Do something ghost boy.
Danny	I can't. Too powerful.
Sam	Okay. Now were doomed.
Danny	We do have one shot at this. Tucker, right? You've got to talk to that thing. Command it to stop.
Tucker	Me? Are you nuts? The scepter controls it.
Danny	Maybe. Or maybe it's loyal to the king and for now, that's you. It might listen to you.
Tucker	Somebody should have.
Danny	I know. And I'm sorry.
Tucker	Well, here goes nothing. Uh, heel?
Hotep Ra	What? No! Sphinx, destroy him!
Tucker	Hello? King talking here. Be still my Sphinx. Lay down.
Hotep Ra	How is this possible? I control the scepter.
Danny	Not anymore dusty.
Hotep Ra	Shall, I, uh, grape you my liege? O-or smite thy foes?
Tucker	Nah. I've got a better idea. Sphinxy, sic him.
	Hotep Ra screams as he runs from the Sphinx, who destroys everything in its path.
Danny	Well now I know why they call these things ruins.
Sam	Nice work Tucker.
Tucker	Thanks woman. Aw come on. Kidding.
Danny	I gotta admit, it was pretty cool the way you got that Sphinx to listen to you without the scepter.
Tucker	Yeah, but I'm much more commanding with the scepter.
Danny	Tucker no!
Tucker	Which is why I say we all go back to the school debate. And nobody remembers this except me, Danny and Sam.
Danny	Nice one. I'll take this one.
Mr. Lancer	Mr. Fenton, Ms. Manson. Back to your seats. This is not a group debate.
Danny	Give it to 'em Tuck. I gotta get this scepter back to the museum.
Tucker	Relax, it won't be long. Friends, classmates, and miscellaneous band geeks who I never associate with. I'm conceding the election to Dash. Somehow, being in charge just doesn’t appeal to me much anymore.
Mr. Lancer	Well, I guess that's it then. Mr. Baxter you win by default. Huzzah!
Dash	Yes! As my first law I would like to propose nerd wailing Fridays.
Tucker	Couldn't he have said mini skirt instead? How hard is that?
Danny	Tucker thanks for bailing us out. The Sphinx was a way better listener than Sam and I have been lately.
Sam	We'll do a better job from now on.
Tucker	You know you really should. Like Danny said, I'm a guy worth listening to. I'm handsome, I'm smart, and I have a kickin' hat. And my ideas for using technology as a campaign theme was top notch. I mean look at this stuff. It was handmade in Japan.
Paulina and Star	Did you said handmaiden?
Star	Why does that make me want to beat him up? Did you just call us handmaidens?
Paulina	And why do I feel like I know what your feet smell like?
Tucker	Stupid scepter. I specifically asked for a total mind wipe. Why doesn't anyone listen? Hey guys. Wait up!
	Paulina and Star scream and chase after Tucker.
	End of episode.